The Dumpster Fire that is my Thought Process

Born May 25 2022, still active

Why am i kinda proud of this

May 26 2022
I still can't believe my math teacher is letting me code in class. Normally when I do this sorta thing it's completely in secret, against the rules, and the teachers wouldn't be ok with it if they knew but NO! Ms. L is totally ok with it, suggested i do it, and when i brought up neocities she said go ahead!!! It's crazy what being established as a trustworthy student can do. Why didn't i figure this out sooner? And why didn't the idea for a digital-webpage diary come sooner? My idea making skills are just on fire tonight! /today because it's onlt 11:27 am.
Coding log 2. 11:44 am. May 26 2022.
I can feel the boredom filling my veins. I don't know how to stop it; if I even can stop it. Half the class is asleep. I think I may be next. The time after the finals is always the worst, especially because i usually finish fairly early. Today's final was a math final, which is usually my cup of tea, but i'm so mentally tired today that i think i got one wrong. Sad days. I did the extra credit problems- wait! It's over!!! The boredom has finally left! Untill the social studies final... And then I won't have even coding to save me. Wish me luck.

June 14 2022
Well, it's summer. It's summer alright. I'm worried i'm wasting it by rotting in my room, but based on the instagram stories of my school acquaintances (which i patrol like a security guard [not in a creepy way, like a sorta endearing way like fenneko from aggretsuko or something]) i'm not the only one. But yeah, i'm wasting away like an extremely bored worm (for lack of a better metaphor) and i know everyone else is too, but i can't contact anyone about it because the social protocol that i made up in my head that i stupidly have to adhere to said so. Plus, i'm not even sure if i want to hang out with friends. I mean, i want to have fun and go to and explore cool unique places and make great memories as much as the next guy, but every time i think about doing it, me doing it, without the rose-tinted-glasses of an imagined scenario, i'm filled with dread! Isn't that strange? Maybe i should just suck it up and do something, but i dunno... I wonder if there's someone else who feels the same. I'm gonna try and write here more often, and if someone, by some incredible coincidence happens to type "https://atomic-fizz.neocities.org/take2.html", welcome, enjoy reading the diary of a lonely loser kid who may or may not be getting a keytar in the near future. Who knows, maybe someone will relate.

September 26 2023
A year later.
Wow, I haven't written here in a while. The last time this code has been touched, I was in eigth grade. Look at me now, a big bad Sophomore. A lot has changed, any simplicity there might have been is long since gone. New school, stressed the fuck out. At least I have friends now. A lot actally, little me would be gormswalloped. I never would've predicted where I am right now. I yearn for the past, just as year 8 me yearned for her past. It's jst an endless cycle of spending so much time yearning for the past that you don't get to appreciate the present and end up yearning for that later. Oh, I didn't end up with the keytar bt dubs. But yeah, I went from a depressed straight a nerd to a depressed too-tired-to-turn-in-my-assignments person. Oh class is over, but I want to continue this essay later today. Essay? I sure am befuddled. Entry. Ope, there's the bell (I wrote prematurely before i heard the bell to ensure I have enough time to clean up)
September 27 2022
I forgor
Anyways it's 9:26 in earth space science, things aren't too bad. Theres a sub today so no quiz and I got a ton of work done on my semester capstone paper. Of course, I'm only feeling so jubilant because I am pointedly ignoring my mountain of homework mostly consisting of written papers that contain many hundreds of words. Oh well. I'll keep up on my entries I swear. Time has turned this dumb little diary hidden world wide web site into a pretty neat gem. I guess that's what happens to oil and petroleum and diamonds so I'm not all that unique after all.

Still September 27 2023
Okay, as the title suggests I am in la clase de espanol, and I am feeling a little bored. School ends in 15 minutes (2:45 rn) so I am really just counting down the seconds. I'm a little inseure of my computer screen right now because I don't get the pleasure to sit in the back ofthe class and probably look like a total nerd with this codercore screen but I know nobody actully gives a shit. Uhh anyways yeah I'm bored tired and since I recently rediscovered this I'll probably be pdating regularly for about a week. Speaking of short obsessions, I really need to catch up on my actual diary entries. So much has happened, I got a boyfriend got sick got better got sick again turns out it was the coronavirus the whole time got behind in school tried to shift realities very desperately got less behind got behind again just in a different subject decided I should probably break up with my boyfriend but I kinda dug myself into a hole with that one anyways... September was crazy. We had a test in spanish today, everyone finished pretty early and since it's block schedule double period we're all pretty much just sitting here. I think a third of the class is asleep. Time update 2:51 by the way. Nine more minutes. I wonder what's for dinner. Oh during advisory period I got a good amount of work done on my daunting english essay so I'm kinda maybe chillin like a villain rn. I know I shouldn't get too cocky but I might actually be feeling decent??? Oh another september update I'm getting my braces off in a little over two weeks! Wow, when I was making those first entries I had only gotten them on a couple months ago...