The Dumpster Fire that is my Thought Process; years 8 through 10

Born May 25 2022, Archived July 4 2024

Why was i kinda proud of this

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What's popping you guys i'm bored out of my mind and rotating a horse in my head just doesn't have the appeal it once did. Sad times are upon us, yes. Sometimes I wonder if, as punishment, instead of hell the souls of the evil people of this world get transported into a fidget toy in a classroom of eighth graders. Food for thought.
Thursday May 26 2022
two days left of eighth grade
All is lost

The Bullshit Territory

May 26 2022
I still can't believe my math teacher is letting me code in class. Normally when I do this sorta thing it's completely in secret, against the rules, and the teachers wouldn't be ok with it if they knew but NO! Ms. L is totally ok with it, suggested i do it, and when i brought up neocities she said go ahead!!! It's crazy what being established as a trustworthy student can do. Why didn't i figure this out sooner? And why didn't the idea for a digital-webpage diary come sooner? My idea making skills are just on fire tonight! /today because it's onlt 11:27 am.
Coding log 2. 11:44 am. May 26 2022.
I can feel the boredom filling my veins. I don't know how to stop it; if I even can stop it. Half the class is asleep. I think I may be next. The time after the finals is always the worst, especially because i usually finish fairly early. Today's final was a math final, which is usually my cup of tea, but i'm so mentally tired today that i think i got one wrong. Sad days. I did the extra credit problems- wait! It's over!!! The boredom has finally left! Untill the social studies final... And then I won't have even coding to save me. Wish me luck.

Summer more like dummer. Cuz i'm just laying around like a dumbass with no friends

June 14 2022
Well, it's summer. It's summer alright. I'm worried i'm wasting it by rotting in my room, but based on the instagram stories of my school acquaintances (which i patrol like a security guard [not in a creepy way, like a sorta endearing way like fenneko from aggretsuko or something]) i'm not the only one. But yeah, i'm wasting away like an extremely bored worm (for lack of a better metaphor) and i know everyone else is too, but i can't contact anyone about it because the social protocol that i made up in my head that i stupidly have to adhere to said so. Plus, i'm not even sure if i want to hang out with friends. I mean, i want to have fun and go to and explore cool unique places and make great memories as much as the next guy, but every time i think about doing it, me doing it, without the rose-tinted-glasses of an imagined scenario, i'm filled with dread! Isn't that strange? Maybe i should just suck it up and do something, but i dunno... I wonder if there's someone else who feels the same. I'm gonna try and write here more often, and if someone, by some incredible coincidence happens to type "https://atomic-fizz.neocities.org/take2.html", welcome, enjoy reading the diary of a lonely loser kid who may or may not be getting a keytar in the near future. Who knows, maybe someone will relate.

Long Time No See

September 26 2023
A year later.
Wow, I haven't written here in a while. The last time this code has been touched, I was in eigth grade. Look at me now, a big bad Sophomore. A lot has changed, any simplicity there might have been is long since gone. New school, stressed the fuck out. At least I have friends now. A lot actally, little me would be gormswalloped. I never would've predicted where I am right now. I yearn for the past, just as year 8 me yearned for her past. It's jst an endless cycle of spending so much time yearning for the past that you don't get to appreciate the present and end up yearning for that later. Oh, I didn't end up with the keytar bt dubs. But yeah, I went from a depressed straight a nerd to a depressed too-tired-to-turn-in-my-assignments person. Oh class is over, but I want to continue this essay later today. Essay? I sure am befuddled. Entry. Ope, there's the bell (I wrote prematurely before i heard the bell to ensure I have enough time to clean up)
September 27 2022
I forgor
Anyways it's 9:26 in earth space science, things aren't too bad. Theres a sub today so no quiz and I got a ton of work done on my semester capstone paper. Of course, I'm only feeling so jubilant because I am pointedly ignoring my mountain of homework mostly consisting of written papers that contain many hundreds of words. Oh well. I'll keep up on my entries I swear. Time has turned this dumb little diary hidden world wide web site into a pretty neat gem. I guess that's what happens to oil and petroleum and diamonds so I'm not all that unique after all.

Bored in spanish class

Still September 27 2023
Okay, as the title suggests I am in la clase de espanol, and I am feeling a little bored. School ends in 15 minutes (2:45 rn) so I am really just counting down the seconds. I'm a little inseure of my computer screen right now because I don't get the pleasure to sit in the back ofthe class and probably look like a total nerd with this codercore screen but I know nobody actully gives a shit. Uhh anyways yeah I'm bored tired and since I recently rediscovered this I'll probably be pdating regularly for about a week. Speaking of short obsessions, I really need to catch up on my actual diary entries. So much has happened, I got a boyfriend got sick got better got sick again turns out it was the coronavirus the whole time got behind in school tried to shift realities very desperately got less behind got behind again just in a different subject decided I should probably break up with my boyfriend but I kinda dug myself into a hole with that one anyways... September was crazy. We had a test in spanish today, everyone finished pretty early and since it's block schedule double period we're all pretty much just sitting here. I think a third of the class is asleep. Time update 2:51 by the way. Nine more minutes. I wonder what's for dinner. Oh during advisory period I got a good amount of work done on my daunting english essay so I'm kinda maybe chillin like a villain rn. I know I shouldn't get too cocky but I might actually be feeling decent??? Oh another september update I'm getting my braces off in a little over two weeks! Wow, when I was making those first entries I had only gotten them on a couple months ago...

Ice Age

October 3 2023
Wow, today is shaping up to be shite. I forgot my phone at home so there goes my only entertainment for the day; my sketchbook isn't in my backpack and I made the idiotic decision to take my cd player out so it doesn't get "broken". Smh. The most entertaining thing I have to do is minesweeper. Eye roll emoji.
October 6 2023
Since that last entry was so short I decided to write this here. It's my last day before the start of fall break, half day, all nice. However, I did NOT finish that honors earth space science capstone paper on Sirius A so let's see how that goes. We're presenting in small groups and I have nothing prepared, sooo... Uhhh this should test the limits of my bullshitting abilities. fingies Crossed!!!!

Pax Galaxium, Not Really Tho

October 16 2023
Fall break is over, my braces are off, ngl I'm a little depressed. I haven't been sleeping as well lately, and break was more stressful than not. A lot of moving very heavy furniture around, a lot of change. Camping was really fun. I guess I just wish that I was able to get caught up on sleep finally this week. Maybe next time. Nothing particularly interesting happened with the capstone paper; I'll just turn it in after school today. Oh, first friday was fun, but leading up to it and afterwards were just more stress. Cause it was the night before we had to leave for camping, yada yada whatevs. I'm rambling and none of it is particularly interesting, you get the drift. Bad sleep and bad mood pretty much.

Ermmmm Ok

January 9 2024
I am actually so bored oh my stars. Yesterday was the first day back after winter break which was ok except for the flu which sucked big fat donkey balls. First day back was ass. Theres this lame o new schedule that I'll probably get used to but for now I'll complain because thats what happens when anything new gets implemented. There was another first friday but it was ASS literally it sucked so hard it was like the grim reaper things from harry potter. It's also been cold as fuck and the heat is out until like this weekend. Like I thought deserts were spposed to be hot? Bitch if there was any moisture in the air it would be snowing. Ok now my snarky ass computer with the microsoft edge feature is saying it's humid out but I don't believe it. Literally right as I was typing that out too. See this is why I'm writing my dumb english paper on internet privacy and stealing information like a fucking schizophrenic. Ok I'm just grumpy but seriously what is up with that. Maybe I judged too harshly and edge is just trying to use as much information as possible to streamline my experience. Edge is there any breaking news today? Ok yeah whatever be quiet now jeez louise I need to call it a day or something before I like go bananas bonkeroni or something.

Geezer Central

April 25 2024
Guess who's sixteen now. This dusty bitch. It's been around two years since I created this website then? Huh werid. Where did the years gp... Anyways not much has changed. I went to Monument Valley for my bday. If i figure out how to add the pics from my camera to the computer i just might display them here. I miss my old school and I'm slowly drifting apart from the friends I had there which is sad. It's just so hard to maintain friendships like that when you go to a different school. Atleast I have my friends here, thats good I'm thankful for them. I'm not quite sure how my ex situation is going, idk if I wrote about it here but he gave his friend my number to try and sniff out information on me which was kinda wierd and freaked me out. Anyways I def 100percent don't want to get back with him but i just want closure if that makes sense??? Idk he was weird asf I'm glad he's out of my life. This kid next to me in spanish is swinging his wholeass leg into the walkway and if he kicks an farther hes gonna kick my backpack. This mf is always kicking my backpack and like stepping on it like dawg are you blind??? No sorry no whoops no nothing. Anyways the bell rings in like 4 mins better clean up will update soon!!!!!!!! Ok turns out I was a good ten mins off with the time lmao... so I read over my old entries and tell me why I never wrote that my ex broke up with me :sob: emoji thats actually hilar i did NAWT give a darn rofl. Im prolly gonna remember but for future reference it was right before I went camping.

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